Saturday, December 13, 2008

Misery Loves Company?

Is it true? Does misery really love company? Sometimes, it definitely seems that way, but is it always true?

I don't think so. That same company that misery supposedly loves can also help us break out of the misery trap. Don't believe me? Consider your financial situation this holiday season, as compared to last year, or the year before. For a lot of people, myself very much included, this is going to be a very difficult holiday season money-wise. I'll lay it out there - my credit cards are near the breaking point due to recent vet expenses, the fan on my home computer died and needs to be fixed, I'm living from paycheck-to-paycheck, and struggling to make ends meet each month.

You thought I was fabulously rich, living in luxury, without a money worry in the world??? Guess again, folks! Being a life coach doesn't make me any more immune to financial difficulties than the rest of you are. At times, I'm even less immune! For me to coach clients and really love doing it, I've given up the illusion of coaching full-time for a living. It may work for others, but it does not work for me. Once it becomes "I need to get more clients, so I can pay my rent this month", it shifts from something I love to do, to something I have to do in order to keep a roof over my head. It shifts from being about following a calling, to being about building a business. I'm deathly allergic to building a business.

I came to the conclusion that I need a regular paycheck and medical/dental benefits. I have a "day job", and face pretty much the same financial struggles that the rest of the 9-to-5 world does. I get hit with unexpected expenses (like vet bills and computer repairs), rob Peter to pay Paul (which I'm really good at), brown bag my lunch most days to save some cash (although, I do it with a really cool pink lunch bag). I also ("major confession" time, here) - GASP! - count change!

So, getting back to the original question - how does reading all of this make you feel about your own financial situation? Doesn't it make you feel better and less miserable, knowing that I'm going through the same type of thing, and that you're not the only one? Not only are you not the only one, you're probably in very good company this year. While it may not change the actual situation (although it might), I'm betting that your outlook on it has changed at least a little bit for the better. I'm guessing, like unwanted houseguests, your misery ain't lovin' the company too much.

Am I wrong?


Sumner Davenport said...

There is a comfort in people being able to feel like they are not alone, that they are part of a group, and its not restricted to just misery. It’s the “Just like me” feeling. It can be for good events as well as traumatic or sad events. Sometimes it feels scary to think we may be the only one feeling that way or having that experience; and other times we want to feel like we are the only one because we need the dedicated support for our wounds or success at that time.

I think it’s very powerful that you recognize that you function your best when you have a regular job with the benefits. I wrote a blog on the subject of telling yourself the truth, and how the truth can set you free. Now you will have a new freedom when coaching your clients.

In a world that functions with people at various levels of employment and industry, we would really be in a pickle if no one ever worked regular jobs.

You have opened the door of possibilities to be the inspiration to a huge number of people who are in regular jobs and need to find joy in where they are at, not where the marketing tells them they should be or should do.

I am excited for you and all the people whose lives you touch.


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